Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
