You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
