i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
