I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
