If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
