I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
