Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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