I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
