garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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