Define "chronic" masturbator.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
