Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
