I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
