We should be called the Road Head Warriors
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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