why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He passed out mid-signature
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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