i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm gonna have a badass scar
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
