you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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