he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think my fart just growled at me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
