I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
