I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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