im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
honey bunches of taint.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We just shotgunned beers for America
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
