Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
