Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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