It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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