sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
