Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
