I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
