FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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