Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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