Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
