You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
