Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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