I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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