Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
