just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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