why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
