Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
