shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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