do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
