I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the liver wants what the liver wants
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
