drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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