apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
