I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
