his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
