I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
