Just cropdusted the office
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
