I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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