Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
