Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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