hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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