Say something about gay babies.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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