Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
