So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
